I was at a restaurant with some ladies. A conversation of ethics ensued. The subject of rape came up and somehow I said a thing I usually don’t share. I didn’t say it directly but it was picked up. And then outrage. They were pissed at my view. I replied that I think it is the worse thing in this world the truth of what I said and I wish it weren’t true. Yet very easily, very, very, easily I can quantify it so much so you would not disagree. You would not want to agree due to your emotion, but you logically cannot disagree – even the emotion that I cause with explaining it will tell you to agree. Yet they at this point had so much emotion they could not hear any attempt to quantify it – they were closed to it. So before I tell you what it is I will first give the parable, I will first quantify it and then state it. On second thought I will infer it so that you cannot skip to the end.



There is this woman Jean, she meets a guy, they go on a date. The guy rapes her!

She chooses not to make it known. Not to press charges or to tell anyone.

One day she is with her friend Tina and her friend tells her how she met a new guy and is going on a date with him. She shows her the picture of the guy!

Jean knows the guy – it’s the guy that raped her. Jean is flooded with emotions – emotions of what happened to her and emotions of what could happen to her friend. Quickly she is overwhelmed. Do I tell my friend WARNING HER!? But then she would be revealing what she swore to never reveal to anyone – that she had been raped (victimized). And then there is the thought that Tina might not believe her and think that she is lying (slandering) so that Jean can have the guy for herself or just out of spite to hurt Tina.

In that moment she cries out to God – what do I do? And this quiet gentle thought comes into her conscience “tell Tina you need her help, you have been assaulted and need her to come with you to the police, when you file the report let her learn who the guy is when you say it in front of the police!”

Is this her thought? Where did that thought come from? “But I don’t want to be exposed!!” She demands. But she doesn’t want her friend to go through what she went through either! Again she hears the voice “trust me.”

She begins to sob uncontrollably, Tina wants to know what is wrong. Jean tells her she has been assaulted and can you take me to the police. Tina is happy to help and drives her there. She files the report they ask her if she has a picture of the guy and she says – my friend Tina does!

Jean now realizes had she sacrificed her emotions of shame from the beginning everyone would have ALREADY  been warned. It would be easier to prove and validate. She would avoid such difficult situations and false accusations such as “your lying so that you can have him.” Or “your lying just for spite to destroy my joy and happiness” (or whatever else I have heard so many).

She realizes had she said nothing and allowed Tina to go on that date -uninformed and was raped – she would have been an accomplice to rape!

She prays and begs that these types of ethics would be taught to children at a young age. If taught it would not be such shame to be a rape victim.



So yes when I say it as a summary it upsets people. But when I give the analogy – well I will wait to see your comments.

I think rape is AS bad as homicide. I am outraged at how little a sentence is received for it. In the news recently a guy getting ONLY six months! Fine put a big screen TV in his cell where he has to watch trauma ER video of men and women where were raped – I dono.