It is not personal. It is not vengeance.

If a three year old called you an idiot, would you take offense? Most would not, they don’t seek approval from a three-year-old. They know the child does not know better.

Yet we still tell the child not to do that. We give the child correction.

So if it is not because someone was offended, then why do we correct the child?

Because we love the child, we want the child to be friendly and nice. If we don’t tell the child, then we have hated the child, neglected the child, even abused the child.

Spare the rod (gavel), spoil the child.

So it is not that I took it personal. It is not that I seek vengeance. It is not that I seek to feel good. It is that I seek to LOVE – to DO good!

When an adult does wrong and we do not exhort or rebuke we have hated them just as equally as we would have hated a child. We have hated by the mere ACT of silence. We have failed to love them. To hate in your heart is to be a murderer in your heart!

The problem with love is a child is open to correction and adults are not so much. And when it is an adult with power like the police, an emperor, or CPS – those close minded take offense and can turn into retaliation.

“some people

are holding grudges

against you

for things

they did to you”

Shall fear of retaliation influence me to choose to hate instead of choosing to love my neighbor as myself?

Think of the most seemingly impossible of situations. The 19-yr-old German conscripted into the Nazi army stationed to guard a concentration camp. If he exhorts his supervisor refusing to obey an immoral order he will be shot on site. (there is just such a person on trial this year for this very thing). Because he did not refuse he was then complicit in this evil. Yet in order to not be complicit is to choose death. And so the saying goes “there is no greater love than to lay down your life” you see for me, it is NOT just standing up for the Jew. It is loving my supervisor, giving him a chance to change as well. (I wonder how many young officers did refuse and WERE shot on site that we do not know.)

So if rebuking a cop would risk retaliation, isn’t that better than joining their sin? Or submitting to abuse? Yes it is true few will change from the rebuke. Many will say “you were foolish” but those same people agree with the saying “all it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing”. And why do these good men do nothing? Is it sacrifice? No it is for selfish reasons. To what end? That I don’t let evil change me but that I over come evil with good. Shall I do evil to avoid war?

“a false peace is worse than war” – Tacitus

What of CPS? What if their retaliation – committing perjury – covered by the immunity of “good faith” causes my kids to be taken? Shall I justify hating the social worker (with silence or boot licking) claiming for the sake of my kids? What if I were that Nazi soldier and I was an only parent? To exhort my supervisor is to be shot on site orphaning my child! And yet 70yrs later I am put on trial for having been complicit because I chose to not orphan my child!!!

What an excuse to “allow evil to prevail by me saying nothing”. Speaking up is so bad??? No, yet it gets people killed. And cowards turn to self medicating (they becomes friends of Bob).

For the sake of the child seems noble but it is still a crime! (Remember the Nazis are tried under Natural law. 😉

If a criminal is given a prison sentence can he rightly say “The judge has taken a father from a child?” No! He did this to his child. And so if authority retaliates and unjustly out of ego takes a child the father has not done this – the evil person has. Shall I be in fear and so not do what is right out of fear? Shall I justify it, self medicating by calling it the lesser of two evils? (which is to choose and do an evil)

Or shall I have faith? That my God will not allow my child to be taken unless He knew it would be used for good?

I am heavenly minded. I am laying up treasure in heaven and not earth. This means I guard my serenity/sanity/sobriety. It is not I who caused my kids to be taken by retaliation, is the lie of the social worker (in this hypothetical situation) that caused it.

For the sake of sanity (sobriety*) one needs to do right and not choose selfishly. For in choosing selfishly he in the long run harms himself seeking later in life to self medicate the psychological injuries inflicted by the unjust acts – even the acts that were labeled at the time “Nobel”.

The parable of the “Emperor wears no clothes” is that a child was loving enough and fearless enough to tell the Emperor. For no one else was selfless enough to say a word! Those who are cowards will dismiss this and self medicate by saying “the child was naive”.

“silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act” – Deitrich Bonhoeffer

You see this adult is not just an offender but a victim. A victim of their ego! If I don’t speak not only have I failed to love them I have chosen to oppress them!!!

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” -Desmond Tutu

You see – silence IS retaliation! Silence IS vengeance and personal!!!

Not all have eyes to see and ears to hear!

*by sober I mean not living a fallacy, a delusion.

Tacitus:senator and a historian of the Roman Empire.
Deitrich: Bonhoeffer  a German pastor, theologian, anti-Nazi dissident.

Desmond Mpilo Tutu: first black African Archbishop of Cape Town, anti-apartheid and human rights activist.



If gays are born that way then are pedophiles born that way?

Whenever I ask someone this who believes homosexuals are born that way I get a strong reaction. A loud deep resounding no.

Such an emotional response indicates born that way = justified. So when they hear a pedophile might be born that way their subconscious interprets this as then it is ok and that can’t be.

So if they are not born that way then gays are not born that way. And if they are born that way then they must not act on it. And so if a gay is born that way they too should not act on it.

I find it strange the ones who are evolutionist. This is not survival of the fittest there is no procreation in homosexuality.

Humans seeking to justify getting their way will come up with wild stories. They will spread these stories hoping others will itch their ears. Those who do not itch their ears they will claim attack – this is none other than cognitive dissidence. They refuse reality.

But to then go and make it law, that it is bigotry – is then mass hysteria.


So there was this boy,

He thought it would be cute to pretend he was in danger of a wolf and would get a kick out of watching everyone come to rescue him in a panic.

So he waited till he was in a good spot where people could hear him and where a wolf might be.

”WOLF! WOLF!” He shouted.

One person heard him came runnin’ and as he came he found the boy laughing and pointing at him. The man said to the boy “Did you just lie?” and the boy replied, “It was just a joke.” And the man said, “This is not funny, this is not a joke lets go get your parents and you tell them what you just did to me.”

When dad heard it he told the boy to say sorry to the man and he did.

Some time went by and the boy thought that man is no fun maybe someone else will see how it is funny so he found a new spot near someone else and did the same. And just the same that person came runnin’ to rescue – only to find the boy laughing.

They too told him “Let’s go to your parents to confess what you have done!” now this person did not know it had happened before. And the boy was now afraid to tell dad. So the person said, “Either you tell him or I must!”

When dad heard he said “Since this is the second time I want you to go to town find two people and tell them too what you did and ask them to pray that God would heal you of this folly/foolishness”

Until you do this no fellowship.

The boy didn’t want to do it. Dinner time came and mom and dad put food in front of the boy and sat while he ate. And the boy said, “Aren’t you guys going to eat?” They replied “We are fasting for your courage, and healing, if you don’t do this today before the sun goes down we need to inform the entire town that they should not eat with you until you do this”

The boy put his fork down and went to town to find two people to confess to and pray for him to be healed.

You see this town was a town of community accountability. They loved their neighbor as themselves. They didn’t just quote and say “It takes a village” having nice words, but they had action to follow through with those words. They lived as a village, as one big family. With transparency. They did not say “Mind your own business, or that is none of your/my business” When it came to matters of fairness. They knew that to just avoid the kid would be to judge him worthless and would be a failure to give mercy.

They regularly studied such issues and scenarios, they spent time in the presence of God together spontaneously and regularly being still knowing He is God.

”Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod (accountability and consequence [not punishment]) of correction will drive it far from him.” – Proverbs 22:15 (many men are children!)

Love is unconditional! It is never removed.

Fellowship is conditional – to fellowship with them is to join in their sin. So love seeks to cover their sin with amends in order to be restored/reconciled.

By confessing to another, it is a substitute consequence to punishment.
By confessing publicly not only is it a deeper cut into the heart of a substitutive consequence (circumcision of the heart) but now it is publicly known to watch out if he does it again. Everyone now knows he does this thing and to help him with it. If he does it again since a wolf is an emergency you ALWAYS respond! None emergencies you do not need to respond too! And every time it turns out to be a lie you give consequence. Even if unrepentant and they cry wolf again you STILL respond. Increasing the consequence each time so that they will either change or they will leave the community on their own and maybe hopefully come back the prodigal son one day.

Feeding them and not eating with them witnesses against their excuses/justifications/vilifications/denial/delusion while also giving consequence. It heaps burning coals upon their head. Romans 12:20 have you ever stopped to think what it would feel like to have burning hot coals dumped on your head? They will lash out at you.

Give a deadline, giving them the chance to come clean on their own. Both to the father the point was made (you can tell him – being humble, or I must tell him – being shamed) and to the town by the father.

Many will claim it is wrong to shame them – not knowing the scriptures “…note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ASHAMED15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.” – 2 Thess 3

The practice called shunning as it is practiced by others is wrong. We shun evil but not people.  We are not to abhor, we are to dislike. We are to shrink back from / jump away from evil. Yet we are to feed our enemies and especially our once brethren. Feed them, but don’t give them a false sense of normalcy. Don’t pretend everything is ok which would reinforce their denial/vilification/etc.

This is to be used ONLY for fairness. It is not to be used for theology – in general! It does not imply not to do business with them. If someone is in sin and unrepentant it does not mean you cannot work with them, or buy from them – with some exceptions.

Now the theology of not praying to idols means if others pray to idols you cannot fellowship with them. But that is only if you have established that with them. You don’t force the subject. If they invite you over to eat and then pray over the meal to Marry or offer you the meal in the name of Mary you THEN speak up and refuse to eat for their conscience sake. It is an issue of fairness to God. They will not understand, they will be offended – could even become violent in their zeal to their religion. Thus you will have loved the most in laying down your life.

Now if a man stole or lied in accordance to their employment or business then yes do not do business nor work with them until they amend their sin.

Disclaimer: amend is not a work that is to save you! Amends is proof of repentance, it is fruit worthy of repentance. It is a work God prepared beforehand that we should walk in it. Eph 2:10

I recently read where a man had gotten drunk was a real estate agent and they refused to do business with him until he repented on their terms. I see this on the surface as wrong, it had nothing to do with his livelihood. If my kid is in time out (contempt of court) until he apologizes, I don’t keep him home from school until he apologizes! And yet if the sin was school related the school puts them in time out AT school! (detention)

In that same case, the man got drunk because the community had told him to kick out his 15yr old who was unrepentant. Any sin that a 15yr would commit does not EVER need kicking out for any evil of that caliber means jail!!!

EVEN the government provides food and shelter! But in a cage. We can put our kids in their room essentially locking them up but we cannot do that with adults not having the same authority in this case (it would be false imprisonment and even kidnapping). Even Jesus had no place to lay his head. Food and clothing were promised.

There is no need for punishment from us. They get to choose our way of contempt of court or the worlds way of punishment. For they are Gods servant for their/our good! For us capital punishment, the epitome of corporal punishment was fulfilled and paid. So contempt of court is substituted. (If we no longer stone our kids then we no longer spank our kids. Many a study has shown that though spanking works, none violent consequence works MUCH MUCH better. On many levels I will go into it on another day on another posting)

For your child it is “I don’t want to send you to your room, you can say sorry or sit in your room until you change your mind” They hold the key, it is up to them how long they will be in theirs. Yet food, healthcare, etc are NOT withdrawn for love is unconditional, in fact, rearing is LOVE!!!

“As many as I loveI rebuke and chasten…” Rev 3:19 the Greek word here to chasten means child rearing.

For an adult, it is “I would love to go for a meal but first let’s go and tell so and so you were sorry and make arrangements to pay them back”. And until they do then they know they are the ones hindering fellowship, not you! Thought if stubborn they will not like it that you showed them you will see the reaction of hot coals on the head, they will lash out at you – this result usually causes many to give in but it is not to be seen as wrong but to be seen as proof it is working. Few can endure fermenting wine! Then there is greater evil. The gaslighters, the ones who seem humble, and beg the community easily tricking them. Thus we need the sword of the Spirit which is the voice of God. As Jesus promised we need to buy this sword to obtain it to hear in the moment to know for evil can seem so innocent.


I was at a restaurant with some ladies. A conversation of ethics ensued. The subject of rape came up and somehow I said a thing I usually don’t share. I didn’t say it directly but it was picked up. And then outrage. They were pissed at my view. I replied that I think it is the worse thing in this world the truth of what I said and I wish it weren’t true. Yet very easily, very, very, easily I can quantify it so much so you would not disagree. You would not want to agree due to your emotion, but you logically cannot disagree – even the emotion that I cause with explaining it will tell you to agree. Yet they at this point had so much emotion they could not hear any attempt to quantify it – they were closed to it. So before I tell you what it is I will first give the parable, I will first quantify it and then state it. On second thought I will infer it so that you cannot skip to the end.



There is this woman Jean, she meets a guy, they go on a date. The guy rapes her!

She chooses not to make it known. Not to press charges or to tell anyone.

One day she is with her friend Tina and her friend tells her how she met a new guy and is going on a date with him. She shows her the picture of the guy!

Jean knows the guy – it’s the guy that raped her. Jean is flooded with emotions – emotions of what happened to her and emotions of what could happen to her friend. Quickly she is overwhelmed. Do I tell my friend WARNING HER!? But then she would be revealing what she swore to never reveal to anyone – that she had been raped (victimized). And then there is the thought that Tina might not believe her and think that she is lying (slandering) so that Jean can have the guy for herself or just out of spite to hurt Tina.

In that moment she cries out to God – what do I do? And this quiet gentle thought comes into her conscience “tell Tina you need her help, you have been assaulted and need her to come with you to the police, when you file the report let her learn who the guy is when you say it in front of the police!”

Is this her thought? Where did that thought come from? “But I don’t want to be exposed!!” She demands. But she doesn’t want her friend to go through what she went through either! Again she hears the voice “trust me.”

She begins to sob uncontrollably, Tina wants to know what is wrong. Jean tells her she has been assaulted and can you take me to the police. Tina is happy to help and drives her there. She files the report they ask her if she has a picture of the guy and she says – my friend Tina does!

Jean now realizes had she sacrificed her emotions of shame from the beginning everyone would have ALREADY  been warned. It would be easier to prove and validate. She would avoid such difficult situations and false accusations such as “your lying so that you can have him.” Or “your lying just for spite to destroy my joy and happiness” (or whatever else I have heard so many).

She realizes had she said nothing and allowed Tina to go on that date -uninformed and was raped – she would have been an accomplice to rape!

She prays and begs that these types of ethics would be taught to children at a young age. If taught it would not be such shame to be a rape victim.



So yes when I say it as a summary it upsets people. But when I give the analogy – well I will wait to see your comments.

I think rape is AS bad as homicide. I am outraged at how little a sentence is received for it. In the news recently a guy getting ONLY six months! Fine put a big screen TV in his cell where he has to watch trauma ER video of men and women where were raped – I dono.


We read in 1 Corinthians 5 a list of examples of sins we are not to associate with. One of those on the list is reviling.


But what is reviling? When I asked pastors they told me that it means cussing/cursing. Another told me it means to blaspheme God. And that was the extent of their explanation.

Well, those are true but there is much more to the meaning of the word. A quick look at the Greek manuscript and where else the word is used is quite revealing.

John 9:28 Then they reviled him and said, “You are His disciple, but we are Moses’ disciples.


The Greek word is loidoros. The above is the New King James version. If we look at how other versions have translated the word it is telling:

cursed him                               NLT

ridiculed him                          HCSB

turned on him in fury         ISV

hurled insults                         NIV

heaped insults                       BSB

railed at him                           CJB

jumped all over him           MSG

Are you getting the idea?


Now if we then look at the Koine Greek synonyms we see mock, reproached, ridiculed, slander, gossip,  etc.

One of the more significant synonyms is the word blasphemy. As the pastors thought that it was direct blasphemy – no it is indirect blasphemy that counts. What do I mean? Well in John 9:28 they reviled the blind man that was healed insulting him as if he were foolish or inferior to them. But in doing so they blasphemed God as they insulted him.

When we read 1 Peter 4:14  (NKJ)  If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified.


So as the healed blind man was being reproached they were blaspheming God. This is serious for in Israel at the time this was an offense that warrants execution. (It was for blasphemy that they put Jesus to death.)


So when you insult your fellow man, your brother, OR the Devil you simultaneously blaspheme God. We read in the book of Jude: 9 Yet Michael the archangel, in contending with the devil, when he disputed about the body of Moses, dared not bring against him a reviling accusation, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!”

Now the most astonishing exhortation to me from this verse is that the English word here revile is not the same as 1 Cor. 5 loidoros in the Greek but is, in fact, the Greek word blasphemias it’s synonym.

So when we gossip, slander, insult, mock or speak evil in any way against ANYONE! (even the devil) We are blaspheming God!

So when it says that Mike did not revile the devil it is saying he didn’t say anything like “You’re an idiot!” Or “How blind can you be?” Or “Dad approves of me more than you!”, Etc.
This is not unlike when Merriam spoke evil of Moses. She commented that since Moses has a foreign wife that either she or Aaron should have been the leader or chosen one. In her simple thinking, yes she spoke down on Moses but does not realize she was insulting God. Who chose Moses? It was God. So she does not realize that she basically said: “God made a bad choice because Moses has a foreign wife, he could have done better in having chosen me or Aaron, God is foolish.”

Who chose Moses? It was God.

So she does not realize that she basically said: “God made a bad choice because Moses has a foreign wife, he could have done better in having chosen me or Aaron, God is foolish.”

In that event, God gave Merriam leprosy. This allows us to see physically what reviling does to our souls (that which God sees but we do not see). God did not give her leprosy because he was offended. Though he said that her own father would have spit in her face. No, but so that she and others could see how she is hurting her own soul. In like manner to the NT says to rebuke an elder publicly so that all may fear – he rebuked her publicly.

Reviling is an epidemic in the body of Christ. They have no idea what it is nor are they interested in knowing. I heard one sermon where a pastor said “well, we are not the purpose driven church you know” and the audience roars in laughter. This was a way to say they were superior to Rick Warren’s church. (I neither endorse either church)

This is serious for a reviler will not inherit the kingdom of God. Now some will say “so you are saying we can lose our salvation?”. Will you say this in order to not obey?

When we revile we are killing our souls! When we do not exhort our brother who may have reviled in our presence we are their accomplice. Their blood will be required at our hands.

Remember to count the cost. That for every idle word a man will be judged Matthew 12:36, That the disciples then asked, “who then can be saved”. It is not for sin that God will judge us. It is for our excuses and denial that he MUST judge us!




With one word I can answer this: experience!

They have not seen these three nor have they seen God. But they have seen results with these three and so believe, not because of the story and the belief of the parents (or fibbing) but because they see the presents, the money, the basket – experience!

Kids believe parents at their word, yet being intelligent enough even at three years old they have doubts, but when they wake up Christmas day and see presents under the tree and hear mom and dad say “wow look Santa came!” They may have been skeptical about the tooth fairy but when they wake up and see money and the tooth gone and mom reinforces the optional truth with “see I told you they would buy your tooth”. The kid is THEN convinced (or rather deceived!).

In my home, we do NOT believe in these three, but we do believe in God. And so I have begged and pleaded with God to give my kids experience with him so that they could believe in Him.
We read in the first chapter of Acts the phrase “by many infallible proofs”!

One day while in the sixth grade my son (Jason) needed money for a field trip. He was crying because we had literally zero money. I said son please share these things with me, it was late at night just before he was going to bed and the trip was in the morning. He was feeling emotion worrying about the next day and what would he tell his teacher. So together we sat in Gods presence, told him what is our trouble and asked for guidance, then waited and listened. I was told to tell my son in the morning he will have his money and that I was to go for a night walk where God would give me the five euro.

I wandered around town for a few hours around 1 am I ran into a guy I know who works at a nightclub. We chatted and he asked me what I was doing out so late. I told him my son needs five euro and I am looking for it. He immediately offered me five euro – in the moment I asked Father if I should accept and he said yes. Though I walked away wondering – was this God’s provision? I remembered to take every thought captive to the authority of Christ, so I asked: “Father is that really from you or because I shared?” He reminded me that he told me to share with him and that I did not ask men for money but he put it on the man’s heart to give. I accepted this answer yet honestly not fully satisfied.

When I  got home I was eager to see his joy when he would see the five euro (like waking up and the tooth is gone and now there is money). He was not excited – he was sad. I asked why and he said that he needed seven euro, not just five. I did not know this, he had told me about the five but not the two. So I said, “If God provided the five he will provide the other two, perhaps you will see it on the ground, or in the bus, or at the restaurant!”

At this time he would walk alone to school. But as a word of wisdom, I was to walk with him today. As we walked and approached the road for his school and should turn I saw a vision to go a block further and to walk around and circle back to the school. As I obeyed this my son said: “dad you’re going the wrong way.” I said I know but God has shown me to take us this way.

As we walked I noticed in the gutter a two euro coin and said to my son gently and calmly “look”. His eyes lit up as I expected them to earlier that morning and as he bent down he found what I had not seen another one euro coin. He was so shocked, so surprised, so full of joy and amazement. He told me right away how he would tell his friends.

I too was amazed and NOW fully satisfied that even the earlier five euro was from Him.
“Faith come from hearing, and hearing the voice of God.” Thus I pray often that my kids will experience him so that they might believe he exists and that they might slowly learn how they can trust him with all.

We have many other such experiences I could share. Most the time it is like this one at what seems to us the very last possible moment, not unlike when God parted the Red Sea.

may you be inspired and go and do likewise.

UPDATE April 4, 2017

We may think we are robbing our kids of fantasy and fun by not doing these games. But what we end up doing is robbing them of trust. I have interviewed many people – and between the ages of 8-14 one day they realized this was a lie and they all tell me they thought “Can I really trust my parents?”. This makes them then think “Is God made up too?”. So to counter this I ask for experience for my kids that God is real.

When my one son (Jojo) was four for Christmas he wanted a remote control car. I had not money to buy this – I asked him to ask God for one. So we prayed together for one. A week later the Red Cross invited him to a Christmas party. They gave him a gift, he opened it. And it was a remote control car.

My son when he was five wanted a tablet. Something I could not afford. I told him he could ask God. 14 months later when he opened a box from Grandma that had a tablet in it his response was “My tablet”. He knew God would answer one day and the day he got it he was not surprised God answered he was just joyful that this was the day. (I have his response on video )

Recently I was walking with my soon to be 14yr old son (Jason). He told me his friends ask him “How do you know God is real” please know we are in Greece where all kids are Orthodox Christians all have been baptized Christian, most of them go to church at Easter and Christmas. They see my son’s faith, they see his courage, they see he is not afraid of men’s opinions – such as when a classmate is being a bully he is not mindful of others wrongly calling him a snitch (He does not tattle tale he asks for help). So I got to share with him how to answer that question. I told him he can tell them of his experiences of God (such as the money for the field trip), he can tell them that this is why he cannot be easily intimidated or manipulated due to spending time with God each day (Jason’s own Character is proof of God – it is proof he has been with God). That he can just lay his hand on their shoulder and say “God please show my friend you are real. and I thank you that you will”

You should not divorce Except for sexual immorality…

Ok so stubbornness is as the sin of idolatry. God makes it clear that when someone is idolatrous that that one is adulterous. For example He would say that Israel had played the harlot when she had engaged in idolatry. Thus adultery=harlotry i.e. sexual immorality.

So if your spouse is rude to someone and you become aware of it – they have not exuded the fruit of the spirit but rather the work of the flesh – and thus are in need of their feet to be washed and food and drink for strength for their soul is naked and hungry.

That is they need exhortation and they need grace from God to change.

If they committed actual adultery should we not seek their repentance and their reconciliation? Just as God sought Israel to repent and reconcile with him? So to for rudeness if they refuse to make amends by telling the person they were rude to have done that, and if it was in the presence of others to confess to them as well (if possible) – if they refuse they are being stubborn/adulterous/sexually immoral (the mystery of Christ and his bride).*

As Samuel said to Saul stubbornness is as the sin of idolatry and as God has revealed idolatry is sexual immorality.

Is this still not accepted by you? Well lust we are told is adultery is it not? So too hatred we are told is murder are we not? Thus stubbornness is sexual immorality.

So then you get one or two witnesses since they think it petty and refuse to apologize (if the roles were reversed would they not appreciate an apology?). IF they refuse to change their mind (repent) they have self on the throne this is the abomination of desolation we are to flee – when you see this. Love them but do not keep company with them. Cook for them but do not eat with them.

If they continue in this you are then free to divorce them, for how do you know if you will save them if you remain?

Per matt 18 an unrepentant believer has become a false believer.

So if it be rudeness or actual adultery Jesus was teaching that you should divorce only for unrepentance. We are told to emulate God – to be perfect as he is – God divorced Israel not for her harlotry but because she did not repent of her harlotry.

The only reason to divorce is unrepentance for any issue no matter how small or big – after every effort to bring them to repentance has been tried. For if we are unfaithful in the few we will be unfaithful in the many in fact already are. If we do not treat them as unbelievers we are their accomplice and we have allowed leaven to remain in the body.

We would be enablers Judge as accomplices just as Eli the High priest who rebuked his sons but did not restrain his sons was judged along with his sons.

I know a lady who’s husband not only was having an affair but moved in with his girlfriend. So she filled divorce. This did not change him. But his kids who were 16, and 18 told him that mom has offered you mercy and if you refuse we will not keep company with you – FOR THIS HE REPENTED!!! And are since happy and still married today. They live just a few kilometers from us.

MATT 18 is not done. It is considered loving and gracious to not do it. But Matt 18 is actually a commentary on how to love one another. It is hatred and evil to not do it!!! Matt 18 is simply how to do an intervention which is expanded on in Luke 17. Jesus when he said to love your neighbor as yourself was quoting Leviticus 19:17, 18 and these two passages are a commentary on loving one another. As in 1 Cor. 5 & 6 and so on like Romans 16 to avoid those who cause division, Thess., etc. Where it says not to eat with one who is disorderly so that he will be ashamed. And James 5. Etc.

I was once scolded that doing this (obeying Christ) would shame them. I said ya – as scripture says so that they can come to repentance – it literally says “so they will be ashamed”. So many thing that staying with them and forbearing might save them. That is like giving a drug addict all he needs daily for his habit hopping he will come to his senses to change. You are an enabler and are not helping them but hurting them. Give the addict food, give them a bed, but drug money ONLY if it is a means of weaning.

They need to identify and admit to themselves that they have a problem this opens their ears to then hear from God what the cause of this problem is. This admittance is an offering, a sacrifice, it is how we offer our bodies daily as a living sacrifice.


*They may soften it and apologize in prayer only or to you only. Not enough.

They may excuse it saying it is minor yet Jesus said for EVERY idle word we shall be judged.